It's raining...mules?

Since it is Memorial Day, I just wanted to share again one of my favorite stories about my grandfather.  Granddaddy served in the U.S. Army's Air Force in the second World War.  During the war, he was, at one point, helping transport a load of mules to China over the Himalayas.  During the course of the flight, the plane lost one of its two engines and began to lose altitude.  The crew needed to unload their four-legged cargo to keep the plane from going down.  Crew members attempted to move the mules, but were unable to coax them off the plane.  Granddaddy, who grew up on a farm in Mississippi, saved the plane and crew because he was the only one who knew how to get the mules to unload and successfully backed them off the plane.  You have to wonder what the Tibetans thought as mules began to rain down from the sky around them.

Spurring on Fathers - What Pediatricians Can Do

Several of my recent posts have addressed the problem of absent fathers, the consequences of absent fathers, and the benefits of involved fathers. Today we turn our attention to what my profession can do to encourage fathers to be active in the lives of their children.

The Role of the Pediatrician

It is certainly true that more moms than dads bring their kids to the pediatrician’s office. Pediatricians should remember that encouraging the involvement of the father (even if he does not have custody) will promote the child’s well-being. Pediatricians should encourage fathers to engage and have direct involvement and interaction with their children as often as possible. Fathers should be accessible, available to their children even when not directly interacting (like what I am doing as I write this post). Fathers should also be encouraged to be responsible, providing for the physical care and welfare of their children.

Not Just a Substitute Mother

Pediatricians should convey to fathers that they play a different role than mothers. They interact in different ways than mothers. Fathers are more likely to engage in play with children and this play is more likely to be physical and stimulating. Fathers influence the child’s gender role development more strongly than mothers. They also increase the likelihood of academic success.

Child Support

Pediatricians should encourage noncustodial fathers to provide child support. The child’s cognitive development, academic achievement, and behavior are all improved when fathers provide child support. The provision of child support by the father provides greater positive outcomes than equivalent income derived from other sources.

Visitation

Pediatricians can also encourage mothers to increase fathers’ access to their children.  The former spouse often poses the greatest obstacle to increased father involvement.  Forty percent of mothers reported they had interfered with the non-custodial father’s visitation on at least one occasion to punish the ex-spouse.  One study found that 77% of non-custodial fathers are not able to visit their children as ordered by the court, as a result of “visitation interference” perpetuated by the custodial parent (a more frequent problem than failure to pay child support).

Additional Advice for Pediatricians from the American Academy of Pediatrics

From Pediatrics,vol 113, number 5, May 2004 “Fathers and Pediatricians: Enhancing Men’s Roles in the Care and Development of Their Children”

Ø  Offer flexible/extended office hours to accommodate working parents and encourage their attendance

Ø  Actively encourage fathers to come in for at least one visit in the first 2 months of life, and more if possible

Ø  Welcome dads and express appreciation for their attendance

Ø  Speak directly to the father and solicit his input and opinions

Ø  Politely explore the relationship between mom and dad

Ø  Discuss the father’s opinions about his role as a father

Ø  Recognize that mothers and fathers may not always agree on how to best raise their children

l  Consider mediating discussions about these differences, but attempt to avoid siding with one parent or the other

Ø  Be sensitive to and informed about diverse cultural and ethnic values and customs regarding the role of the father

Ø  Take a “parenting history” to encourage parents to understand their own behaviors by understanding how they themselves were parented

Ø  Explore the quality of relationships between each parent and their children, as well as each other

Ø  Empower, engage and inform fathers of the importance of their involvement

l  Remind the family that dads are not just workers or breadwinners

l  Give fathers responsibilities for caring for and making decisions regarding the child

l  Encourage fathers to assume at least some child care responsibilities

l  Encourage mothers to let the father be involved and learn from his own mistakes

l  Early time alone with the child allows dad to gain confidence and develop his own style while letting mom have some time to herself

l  Reinforce dad’s support of mom

•          Explore ways the father can help decrease maternal stress

•          Discuss the normal stressors that the family will experience (decreased sleep and energy, less time alone as a couple, less individual free time, changes in intimacy and the sexual relationship, etc.)

•          Look for signs of maternal depression and be able to offer resources for help

•          Explore marital stress and discuss the parent’s relationship

•          Educate fathers about breastfeeding and how they can support the mothers’ nursing

•          Encourage dad to protect some time for mom to be alone

•          Encourage dad to take a paternal education class

Intermission: Overwhelmed

We are approaching the end of my series of posts on fatherhood.  I have a little more to share on that topic, but I must take a break from it tonight and change to a slightly different topic.


It has been interesting to write this blog over the last few years.  Part of my intent in writing has been to have a cathartic outlet.  I also thought that someone else might be interested in some of the things I needed to write and that I might benefit someone by my writing.


I have gone through periods where I had a lot to say (see my posts on our Kenya trip).  I have gone through times where I had nothing to say (see the period between November 2011 and March 2012).  I have recently had a lot on my mind that I wasn't ready to write about yet.


Tonight, some of that has erupted and I need to write this.


You may have picked up on some of the hints in previous posts that adoption has been on my mind.  It has actually been on my mind for several years, but the time wasn't right for our family until now.  Our family has indeed recently decided to pursue adoption and, barring failing our home study or being rejected by some governmental agency, we hope to add a child to our family sometime in the next year or so.  


Why am I just now writing about it?  Good question.  We needed to get far enough along in the process to figure out whether we qualified to adopt.  We needed to make a few decisions about how and when to proceed before we made our decision public.  I needed to internally process some of my thoughts before I could put them in writing.  


Why adopt?  Another good question.  There are a number of reasons.  Reason #1 for us is that we believe that this is God's plan for our family.  God makes it clear in scripture that care for the fatherless is important to Him.  

Exodus 22:22 "You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child."   

Deuteronomy 10:18a "He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow" 

Deuteronomy 24:19 “When you reap your harvest in your field and forget a sheaf in the field, you shall not go back to get it. It shall be for the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. 

Deuteronomy 27:19 “‘Cursed be anyone who perverts the justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’"

Job 31:18  (for from my youth the fatherless grew up with me as with a father, and from my mother's womb I guided the widow)

Psalm 68:5  Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.

Psalm 146:9 The Lord watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.Isaiah 1:17 learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause.

Adoption is a God-created process.  Christians who examine the scriptures will find that the entire plan of salvation is actually a plan for adoption.  God wants to adopt us and make us His children.  He wants His children to follow His example and become parents to the fatherless.

John 14:18 “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

Romans 8:15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!"

Romans 8:23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

Romans 9:4 They are Israelites, and to them belong the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship, and the promises.

Galatians 4:5 to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.

Ephesians 1:5 he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will

James 1:27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

 

So, what happened tonight that made me have to write?  Well, I was working on one of the required educational courses for adoption when I read a sample referral from the country from which we plan to adopt.  I know it was just a sample, but the referral stated that the child was discovered in a garden.  The child had been abandoned in the garden and was being bitten by ants.  The referral stated that the child was "lucky" to have been bitten by ants, and not by hyenas or other wild animals, as frequently happens to other abandoned children.  Keep in mind that this "sample referral" was intended for people who had already decided to adopt, not for those who were still trying to decide whether they would adopt.  This leads me to believe that this "sample" situation is not a sample at all.

I was overwhelmed by the thought.

As I said at the beginning of this post, I partially write as a catharsis.

Gifts of a Father's Presence

As promised, I am going to stop talking about all the bad things that happen when dads are not involved/present for their children and I will instead talk about all the great things that happen fathers do take an active role in the lives of their kids.  These positive effects are not just the inverse of the negative consequences when dads are absent.

Effects on Infants

Let's starts with infants.  Even in the first few days of life, the effect of a father's presence can be discerned.  Newborns will preferentially turn their heads to the voice of their fathers over the voices of other men.  Studies of premature infants show that those infants whose fathers visit the NICU more often tend to have better weight gain during the hospitalization and perform better on behavioral and social-developmental tests during the first 18 months of life.  Infants who demonstrate the most emotional security and attachment have fathers who are affectionate, who spend time with their children, and who have a positive attitude.  Keep in mind that these effects are happening long before the child can even walk and talk.

Effects on Mothers

What about mothers?  When fathers are involved, their children's mothers are more likely to start and continue breastfeeding.  Mothers with positive relationships with their children's fathers also demonstrate better parenting skill and fewer emotional difficulties.  Mothers who are feeling supported are more likely to encourage the fathers to be involved with the children.  So, dads, if you are supportive of mom, she will want you to be involved with your kids.  If you are not supportive, she will be more likely to discourage your involvement.

Early Childhood

Fathers can help reduce the likelihood of stranger anxiety in their children.  When left with a stranger, one-year-olds with involved fathers are less likely to cry.  They are also less likely to worry and less likely to disrupt the play of other kids.  Compared to those with less involved fathers, preschool children of involved fathers have been found to have higher cognitive development.  They also exhibit more empathy and have a greater sense of mastery over their environment than their peers with less involved dads.

Long-term Benefits

Children who live with both parents are more likely to finish high school, be economically self-sufficient, and be physically healthy.  Fathers have a unique and strong influence on their children's gender role development and serve as important role models for both boys and girls.  

"My dad is a Frito-Lay man. That is an important job because Frito-Lay means chips, which is food. That is so important because you could not live without food."
1st grader 
Entry from the National Center for Fathering’s Father of the Year Essay Contest

Discipline

Fathers who set appropriate limits for their children and who provide sufficient autonomy have children with higher academic achievement.  Fathers who discipline harshly and/or inconsistently have a negative impact on emotional and academic development

Educational Benefits

When dads are involved, kids tend to have improved educational outcomes.  Children of fathers who are involved in their children's education are more likely to achieve better grades, more likely to enjoy school, more likely to participate in extracurricular activities, and are less likely to have repeated a grade.

Canine Case Study:  UGA

UGA I

Since UGA I, the first in his family to go to college, nine generations of his descendants have entered the University of Georgia.  In order, those descendants are UGA II, UGA III, UGA IV, Otto, UGA V, UGA VI, UGA VII, Russ, and UGA VIII.  It is anticipated that UGA IX will soon join that glorious family tradition.

Clockwise from top left:  UGA II, UGA III, UGA IV, Otto, UGA V, UGA VI, UGAVII, UGA VIII, and Russ (center)

Additional Benefits

There are numerous other benefits that result from fathers who are involved.  Fathers who spend time alone with their kids and perform routine childcare at least twice a week raise the most compassionate adults.  Physical play with fathers promotes intellectual development and social competence.  Who would have thought that just wrestling and playing with dad would be such a big deal?

There are undoubtedly many other advantages that fathers create for their children when they remain involved. The benefits above are just the ones which have been shown in various research settings.  Fathers are capable of doing incredible good to their kids by staying involved in their lives.  Dads, you only have a few years with your kids at home.  Make the most of them and be their dad!  Perfection is not necessary.  Presence and participation are.

"Sometimes as a joke I'll put my stinky socks in his briefcase, so at work the next day he will think of me! He's always at the concerts and plays that I'm in, even though he lives about an hour away."
4th grader
Entry from the National Center for Fathering’s Father of the Year Essay Contest

Would Your Kids Kiss a Pig?

My last few posts have revolved around the effects that fathers have on their children.  More specifically, the discussion has revolved around what happens when fathers are absent from the child's life, either partially or fully.  So far, we have talked about how the absence of a father contributes to poverty, substance use and abuse, psychological and behavioral problems, poorer educational performance, and increased participation in criminal activities.  There are two more major categories to touch on today, then we will move on to the positive effects of father presence and involvement.  I focus on fathers, rather than mothers, because fathers are much more likely to be the absent parent.  Absent mothers have overlapping, but not identical, ill effects on their children.  Maximizing the involvement of the absent parent, when reasonably possible, helps mitigate the negative impact of the absence.

The topics today relate to sexual consequences and medical consequences when fathers are absent.  Children with an absent parent have been shown to be more likely to be perpetrators and victims of sexual abuse.  Data gathered on more than 1600 juvenile sex offenders in 30 states show that loss of a parental figure is a common characteristic of the offenders.  Teens from two-parent households have been found to be less likely to be sexually active.  Studies have shown that about 70% of teen pregnancies are to children of single parents.  As of 2004, approximately 40% of teen pregnancies ended in abortion.

Girls from father-absent homes tend to begin puberty earlier, have sex earlier, and have their first children earlier than girls from father-present homes.  According to a study conducted in the U.S. and New Zealand, the risk of increased sexual activity is greater the earlier in a girl's life that the father becomes absent.  Higher socioeconomic status does not protect the girl from these effects.

My dad is the best dad ever. 
I would kiss a pig for him.
-1st grader 
Entry from the National Center for Fathering’s Father of the Year Essay Contest

Fathers of children of teen mothers are more likely to be educationally unsuccessful and to have limited earning potential.  They have increased rates of substance use/abuse and have increased trouble with the law.  They do not tend to maintain long-term relationships with their children, perpetuating the cycle of absent fatherhood, though they are often very involved in the first few months of life.  These teen (usually) fathers do not provide much material support and tend to have increased numbers of sexual partners.

My own experience as a pediatrician has been consistent with these findings.  I have often found that the new teen father stays with the mom in the hospital (often insisting on sleeping in the hospital bed, which is intended to hold 1 adult, with the mom).  He tends to come to all the office visits for the first few months, then seems to disappear.  There are exceptions, of course, but this is certainly the norm.

There are also numerous medical consequences to children from father-absent homes.  Unmarried mothers are less likely to obtain prenatal care and are more likely to have a low birthweight baby.  Infant mortality rates are higher for unmarried mothers and teen mothers (roughly 50% higher for teens).  Sudden Infant Death Syndrome has also been shown to be more common in children of unmarried and teen mothers.  Asthma and obesity are both more likely in children of single mothers, and blood sugars are more poorly controlled in diabetic children of single mothers.

So, that pretty much wraps up the bad stuff.  Thanks for hanging with me through all of those depressing facts.  The upcoming posts will summarize the positive things that occur when a father is present and some practical ways that fathers can stay involved.  I don't know about you, but I am ready for some good news.

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.
- George Herbert (1651)

O Father, Where Art Thou?

If you have been sticking with me through this series about fatherhood, we have a bit more to discuss regarding the consequences of father absence and then on to more positive things.  This topic is important to me for several reasons.  First, I am a father of three children (hopefully four sometime in the next year or two) and I want to be the kind of father they need.  Second, I am tired of seeing friends separate and/or divorce.  If these posts do anything to help just one father decide not to leave, it will have been a worthwhile endeavor.  Third, I see kids who are suffering the consequences of father absence in my office very frequently and I am often called upon to help the kids deal with them.  I see these kids spiral downward in the wake of their parents' divorces and would love to see less of it.


Emotional and Behavioral Consequences

The emotional and behavioral consequences of father absence are numerous and profound, and I imagine that many of you are quite familiar with them.  Children from single-mother homes have a greater risk for psychosocial problems, an effect which is over and above the impact of coming from a low-income home.   Young girls experience the emotional loss of a father as a rejection of them.  Continued lack of involvement is experienced as ongoing rejection. 

There are a number of other emotional and behavioral problems that are more likely in kids with absent fathers.  Post-traumatic stress disorder is significantly more common in youths with an absent parent.  Children with eating disorders and children who self-mutilate (e.g., "cutting") often come from homes where fathers are absent.  Antisocial symptoms are also more common in kids with absent fathers, a risk that is not mitigated by the presence of a stepfather.  Even more frightening is this: three out of four teen suicides occur in households where a parent has been absent.

Educational and Developmental Consequences

Children living with a single parent have lower GPAs, lower college aspirations, worse attendance, and higher drop-out rates.  Fatherless children are 1.7-2 times as likely to drop out of school (after controlling for race, socioeconomic status, sex, age, and overall academic ability).

Family Structure and School Outcome
Journal of Pediatrics, Feb. 2001

Father absence has also been associated with delayed motor skill development in preschool children.  I would suggest that this is due to the fact that the way fathers interact with their kids is different than mothers.  Play with dads is often characterized by physicality - wrestling, tickling, tossing, spinning, etc.  This physical play certainly contributes positively to the motor development of children.


Criminal Consequences

Given what we have already discussed, it is likely no surprise that criminality is more common among children with absent fathers.  A study of male African-American adolescents found that delinquent behavior is more likely in father-absent homes, especially when combined with socioeconomic disadvantage.  Children born to teen mothers are 3 times more likely to be incarcerated during their adolescence and early twenties than children of older mothers (as you will recall, children of teen mothers frequently have absent fathers).  Children born out-of-wedlock (and therefore likely to have an absent father) are about 1.7 times more likely to become a juvenile offender and 2-3 times more likely to become a chronic offender than their peers.  They are also 8-10 times more likely to become a chronic juvenile offender if male and born to an unmarried teen mother.  A Finnish study published in 2002 found that the strongest predictor of later female criminality was the absence of the father during childhood (odds ratio of 2.5).  Previous studies have shown that being born to a teen or unmarried mother increases the risk of later criminality by 2.2 and 1.8 times, respectively.

Have I painted a bleak enough picture yet?  We still haven't talked about sexuality and medical problems that result from father absence.  We'll hit those topics in the next post.  Then, finally, we'll have some positive things to talk about.  

Let me close by reiterating what I have previously said.  Fathers, stay involved, whether you are in the home or not.  Mothers, facilitate the involvement of the fathers (as long as the father is not dangerous to the child).  It is in your child's best interest for dad to be there.

The gods visit the sins of the fathers upon the children.
 -Euripides (485-406 B.C.)

This is not a new concept.

Do Fathers Really Matter?

My last few posts have been setting the stage for this post.  I probably did not need to convince you that there are a lot fathers who are absent from the lives of their children, either partially or completely.  What I hope to do today by reviewing the consequences of father absence is to present a strong case for why fathers need to be very intentional about staying involved in the lives of their children.  

For married men and women, hopefully this will help strengthen your conviction to stay married and help maximize the positive impact you can have on your children.  For divorced men and unmarried fathers, I hope this will convince to stay as involved as possible in the lives of your children in order to be as strong a positive influence as possible.  For mothers who are not married to the father of their children, my desire is that you will encourage the fathers to remain involved, so long as they do not pose a threat to the children.

So, what are the consequences to children when their fathers are absent from the home?  I'm glad you asked.  The consequences of father absence are numerous and profound.  Consequences range from poverty to increased use of tobacco, alcohol, and drugs to increased rates of teen pregnancy and parenthood.

Let's start with poverty.  Young children living with unmarried mothers are five times more likely to be poor than other children and ten times more likely to be extremely poor.  Nearly 75% of children living in single-parent homes will experience poverty before the age of 11.  Only 20% of children from two-parent homes will do the same.  Nearly 80% of teen mothers, most of whom are unmarried, eventually receive welfare aid.    Homelessness is more common among children from broken homes.  A 2003 study of homeless teens found that only 14% were raised by both biological parents.  Finally, children of teen mothers are more likely to be unemployed.

Next, let's look at tobacco, alcohol and drugs.  Children who live apart from their fathers are 4.3 times more likely to smoke than those who grow up with their fathers in the home.  Additionally, teens who smoke are  more likely to me sexually active.  A study published in 2003 found that adolescents living with both biological parents engaged less frequently in heavy alcohol use.  Heavy use of alcohol is more common in all types of non-intact families.  Latchkey children, children who have daily unsupervised periods at home after school, are more common when the father is absent from the home.  These children are more than twice as likely to abuse drugs as children who are not left alone after school and begin abusing substances at younger ages.  Latchkey children are also at greater risk for teen pregnancy and are more likely to be victims of sexual abuse.

As you can see, the impact of fathers being absent from the home is enormous, and we haven't even made it to other consequences like criminality.  We will discuss a few more of the consequences of absent fathers in my next post, followed by posts on the positive impact of present/involved fathers and on practical ways fathers can be encouraged to remain involved.  Hang with me through the negatives, we will soon be talking about more positive things.  For now, let me leave you with a few quotes from children whose dads remained present (even if not physically in the same home).

"Sometimes as a joke I'll put my stinky socks in his briefcase, so at work the next day he will think of me! He's always at the concerts and plays that I'm in, even though he lives about an hour away."
4th grader (entry from the National Center for Fathering’s Father of the Year Essay Contest)

"One time I had an assembly and I was a soloist and my dad was in the first row and after my song I smiled at my dad and my dad smiled back and started crying.  That was the best thing I ever saw."
6th grader (entry from the National Center for Fathering’s Father of the Year Essay Contest)

Where are all the Fathers? Reasons for Father Absence

Our last two posts have begun to cover the issue of father absence in this country.  We'll explore this further today, but, before we do, perhaps I should explain why I am focusing primarily on fathers.  First, I am a father, so the issue is important to me.  It is easier for a father to talk to other fathers about their roles as fathers than it would be for a woman to tell men all the ways they are messing up.  Similarly, I don't think it would be a great idea for me to talk about ways that mothers may be failing at their jobs as mothers.  It is better for that to come from another woman.  Secondly, and more importantly, absent fathers are just much more common than absent mothers.

So, why do we have so many absent fathers?  What factors are leading to this?  The factors I will discuss below are not the only reasons for father absence, but they comprise a large proportion of them.  One of the largest reasons that fathers are absent from the homes of their children is divorce.  The number of currently divorced adults has nearly sextupled from 4.3 million in 1970 to 17.6 million in 1995 to 23.7 million in 2010.  The number of divorces per year has increased from 390,000 in 1960 to 1.2 million in 2009.  The number of US children affected by divorce has increased from 463,000 in 1960 to 1,052,000 in 1995.  More recent statistics would undoubtedly show even larger numbers of children affected by divorce, though there are recent reports of decreasing divorce rates.  The reported decreases in divorce rates are generally looking at divorces as a proportion of the general population, not as a proportion of marriages.  Additionally, the marriage rate has declined considerably, likely leading to an increase in the second factor contributing to absent fathers.

Another of the significant reasons for fathers who are absent from the child's home is births out-of-wedlock.  Forty-one percent of all newborns in the U.S. were born out-of-wedlock in 2009, up from 33% in 2000.  About 22% of out-of-wedlock births are to teens and about 37% are to mothers between the ages of 20-24.  About 75% of all teen births are out-of wedlock.  In many of these cases, the father never lives in the child's home, even at the beginning.  Live births to unmarried women in the U.S. increased from 224,300 in 1960 to 1,365,966 in 2002 and 1,727,000 in 2008.  Children living with never married mothers have grown from 221,000 in 1960 to 5,862,000 in 1995.  As of 2004, only 2-3% of live births to teens were placed for adoption.  A smaller, but still significant, reason for father absence is incarceration. As of 1991, there were an estimated 423,000 fathers in prison with children under the age of 18.  That number has increased to 744,200 as of 2007.

To this point, we have looked primarily at the physical absence of fathers from the home.  I do want to briefly mention fathers who are emotionally absent from their children.  As of 2004, less than 25% of children in two-parent homes received at least one hour per day of relatively individualized contact with their fathers.  The average amount of daily one-to-one father/child contact is less than 30 minutes.  Forty-one percent of fathers do not know the name of their child's physician and 43% do not know the name of their child's teacher.

To be fair, many men have busy work schedules which are major factors that limit their contact with their children.  As a pediatrician, I understand how difficult it is to balance a demanding work schedule and family life, and I don't always do a great job at maintaining that balance.  We will next discuss the consequences of absent fathers.  I point these issues out not for the sake of being critical, but in order to spur men on to take a larger role in the lives of their children and to become more physically and emotionally present for them.   We have a relatively short time to raise our children.  Let's make the most of it.

Absent Fathers, Definitions, & Statistics

My last post introduced the idea that the absence of fathers in U.S. homes is a significant problem.  Today we will define what we mean by the term absent father and we will discuss the prevalence of absent fathers.  The definition of an absent father depends a bit on the specific study or source of data.  In general, when we use the term absent father, we are speaking of fathers who are physically absent from the child's primary home.  This includes fathers who have only joint custody of their children.

A caveat before we continue with our series of posts on absent fathers: the statistics that will be quoted are a few years old.  The exact numbers are almost certainly a bit different today than the numbers I will quote.  The reason for this is two-fold.  First, it takes time for researchers to assemble and interpret all the data they collect, so information is a bit out of date by the time it is ever published.  Second, my acquisition of the data I will present took place several years ago and I have not recently searched out current statistics that  supersede the ones I will present in these posts.

On to the statistics.  As of 2004, approximately 24.7 million U.S. children (36.3%) lived absent from their biological fathers.  In 1997, according to Gallup, 33% of all U.S. teens and 43% of urban teens lived away from their father.  Nearly half of all children from disrupted families have not seen their fathers in the past year.  Nearly 1 in 5 children in female-headed households have not seen their fathers in five years.  Finally, 1 out of every 6 kids in America is a step-child.

From 1960 to 2000, the proportion of children living with just one parent increased from 9% to 28% over that 40 year span.  When the statistics are broken down by race, results become even more alarming.  As of the year 2000, 20.9% of all white children lived in single-parent homes.  At the same time, 31.8% of all Hispanic children and 57.7% of all black children were living in single-parent homes.  The reasons for the racial differences are debatable, but what is clear is that this is a problem that is not limited to a single race.

The problem of fathers either shirking their responsibility or being prevented from fulfilling their responsibility as fathers in the United States is enormous.  We will soon examine why this is a big deal and explore the impact that fatherlessness has on children.

Who's Your Daddy?

Although this is a popular taunt insinuating one's dominance over another, the question is one that more and more American children are unable to answer, if asked seriously.  While completing my pediatric residency, one of the other male pediatric residents was asked by a child he was examining, "Are you my daddy?"  This unfortunate child realized that he needed a father and was seeking to find him. How heartbreaking.  The epidemic of father absence in this country has led to a nation of children who lack legitimate male role models and are searching for father figures. 

A question for the men out there: for whom, besides your own biological children, can you be a father figure?  Can you be a Big Brother?  Can you mentor a child or teen you know?  Can you be a foster parent?  Would you consider adoption?  There are over 13 million "double orphans" (children who have lost both their mothers and fathers) in the world.  Would you choose to be a father to one of them?

The absence of a father in a child's life can do immense harm and the presence of a father can do immense good.  More posts will follow on those topics, as well as on the topic of adoption.

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God,the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world" - James 1:27