Dependent

That's not a word most of us like to use very often, unless we are referring to tax deductions.  The American spirit teaches us to be independent and to rely on ourselves.  Humanism tells us we can do anything we want if we just believe in ourselves.  This humanistic perspective permeates our culture.  Just watch Disney channel for a couple of hours.  Listen to Lenny Kravitz and dozens of other recording artists.  You can find this theme in the writings of many Christian authors.  It is certainly an accepted idea in our American society, but is self-belief really what God wants from us?  Would he instead prefer that we put our faith in Him, rather than ourselves?

I must confess that, despite faith in Jesus Christ for my ultimate salvation and perfection, my daily life has often been marked by self-belief.  I have gone through long periods in my life where I have primarily relied on myself and my gifts and talents to run my daily life.  I would occasionally get to the end of myself and then rely on God to get me through the difficult things, but I was not reliant on Him each day as I should be.

I don't mean to say that we should not put forth our best effort at whatever we do.  We certainly should use the talents and abilities that God has given us, but our confidence should be in Him, not in ourselves.

So why am I bringing this up now? Because I have now reached the point in my preparation for the upcoming trip to Kenya where it is apparent that I can not possibly study or prepare enough.  There is no way I can study all the topics I need to know.  There is no way I can do the additional training that I had hoped to accomplish before the trip.  I have been diligent in my preparation, but I can't possibly get it all done.

And I think this is exactly where God wants me to be.

I think He wants me to have to depend on Him.  If I could be completely prepared for what I am about to do, then I would likely try to depend on my own talents and skills, rather than depending on God to do what only He can do.  Any good thing, medically or spiritually, that is accomplished through me on this trip will be because of Him.  If I am successful in resuscitating babies or making the right treatment decisions for tropical diseases I have never seen or in leading others to Christ, it will be because He has provided me with the right knowledge combined with the right skill and the right decision-making at the right time to accomplish His purpose.