Do Fathers Really Matter?

My last few posts have been setting the stage for this post.  I probably did not need to convince you that there are a lot fathers who are absent from the lives of their children, either partially or completely.  What I hope to do today by reviewing the consequences of father absence is to present a strong case for why fathers need to be very intentional about staying involved in the lives of their children.  

For married men and women, hopefully this will help strengthen your conviction to stay married and help maximize the positive impact you can have on your children.  For divorced men and unmarried fathers, I hope this will convince to stay as involved as possible in the lives of your children in order to be as strong a positive influence as possible.  For mothers who are not married to the father of their children, my desire is that you will encourage the fathers to remain involved, so long as they do not pose a threat to the children.

So, what are the consequences to children when their fathers are absent from the home?  I'm glad you asked.  The consequences of father absence are numerous and profound.  Consequences range from poverty to increased use of tobacco, alcohol, and drugs to increased rates of teen pregnancy and parenthood.

Let's start with poverty.  Young children living with unmarried mothers are five times more likely to be poor than other children and ten times more likely to be extremely poor.  Nearly 75% of children living in single-parent homes will experience poverty before the age of 11.  Only 20% of children from two-parent homes will do the same.  Nearly 80% of teen mothers, most of whom are unmarried, eventually receive welfare aid.    Homelessness is more common among children from broken homes.  A 2003 study of homeless teens found that only 14% were raised by both biological parents.  Finally, children of teen mothers are more likely to be unemployed.

Next, let's look at tobacco, alcohol and drugs.  Children who live apart from their fathers are 4.3 times more likely to smoke than those who grow up with their fathers in the home.  Additionally, teens who smoke are  more likely to me sexually active.  A study published in 2003 found that adolescents living with both biological parents engaged less frequently in heavy alcohol use.  Heavy use of alcohol is more common in all types of non-intact families.  Latchkey children, children who have daily unsupervised periods at home after school, are more common when the father is absent from the home.  These children are more than twice as likely to abuse drugs as children who are not left alone after school and begin abusing substances at younger ages.  Latchkey children are also at greater risk for teen pregnancy and are more likely to be victims of sexual abuse.

As you can see, the impact of fathers being absent from the home is enormous, and we haven't even made it to other consequences like criminality.  We will discuss a few more of the consequences of absent fathers in my next post, followed by posts on the positive impact of present/involved fathers and on practical ways fathers can be encouraged to remain involved.  Hang with me through the negatives, we will soon be talking about more positive things.  For now, let me leave you with a few quotes from children whose dads remained present (even if not physically in the same home).

"Sometimes as a joke I'll put my stinky socks in his briefcase, so at work the next day he will think of me! He's always at the concerts and plays that I'm in, even though he lives about an hour away."
4th grader (entry from the National Center for Fathering’s Father of the Year Essay Contest)

"One time I had an assembly and I was a soloist and my dad was in the first row and after my song I smiled at my dad and my dad smiled back and started crying.  That was the best thing I ever saw."
6th grader (entry from the National Center for Fathering’s Father of the Year Essay Contest)