Where are all the Fathers? Reasons for Father Absence

Our last two posts have begun to cover the issue of father absence in this country.  We'll explore this further today, but, before we do, perhaps I should explain why I am focusing primarily on fathers.  First, I am a father, so the issue is important to me.  It is easier for a father to talk to other fathers about their roles as fathers than it would be for a woman to tell men all the ways they are messing up.  Similarly, I don't think it would be a great idea for me to talk about ways that mothers may be failing at their jobs as mothers.  It is better for that to come from another woman.  Secondly, and more importantly, absent fathers are just much more common than absent mothers.

So, why do we have so many absent fathers?  What factors are leading to this?  The factors I will discuss below are not the only reasons for father absence, but they comprise a large proportion of them.  One of the largest reasons that fathers are absent from the homes of their children is divorce.  The number of currently divorced adults has nearly sextupled from 4.3 million in 1970 to 17.6 million in 1995 to 23.7 million in 2010.  The number of divorces per year has increased from 390,000 in 1960 to 1.2 million in 2009.  The number of US children affected by divorce has increased from 463,000 in 1960 to 1,052,000 in 1995.  More recent statistics would undoubtedly show even larger numbers of children affected by divorce, though there are recent reports of decreasing divorce rates.  The reported decreases in divorce rates are generally looking at divorces as a proportion of the general population, not as a proportion of marriages.  Additionally, the marriage rate has declined considerably, likely leading to an increase in the second factor contributing to absent fathers.

Another of the significant reasons for fathers who are absent from the child's home is births out-of-wedlock.  Forty-one percent of all newborns in the U.S. were born out-of-wedlock in 2009, up from 33% in 2000.  About 22% of out-of-wedlock births are to teens and about 37% are to mothers between the ages of 20-24.  About 75% of all teen births are out-of wedlock.  In many of these cases, the father never lives in the child's home, even at the beginning.  Live births to unmarried women in the U.S. increased from 224,300 in 1960 to 1,365,966 in 2002 and 1,727,000 in 2008.  Children living with never married mothers have grown from 221,000 in 1960 to 5,862,000 in 1995.  As of 2004, only 2-3% of live births to teens were placed for adoption.  A smaller, but still significant, reason for father absence is incarceration. As of 1991, there were an estimated 423,000 fathers in prison with children under the age of 18.  That number has increased to 744,200 as of 2007.

To this point, we have looked primarily at the physical absence of fathers from the home.  I do want to briefly mention fathers who are emotionally absent from their children.  As of 2004, less than 25% of children in two-parent homes received at least one hour per day of relatively individualized contact with their fathers.  The average amount of daily one-to-one father/child contact is less than 30 minutes.  Forty-one percent of fathers do not know the name of their child's physician and 43% do not know the name of their child's teacher.

To be fair, many men have busy work schedules which are major factors that limit their contact with their children.  As a pediatrician, I understand how difficult it is to balance a demanding work schedule and family life, and I don't always do a great job at maintaining that balance.  We will next discuss the consequences of absent fathers.  I point these issues out not for the sake of being critical, but in order to spur men on to take a larger role in the lives of their children and to become more physically and emotionally present for them.   We have a relatively short time to raise our children.  Let's make the most of it.